I love BUBBLES!!
You're my only friend, Cousin Itt.
Ahhh, Cycle 5. Probably one of my top two favorite seasons of ANTM, thanks to hot Kim Stolz (more on her later), the overseas trip to one of my top two favorite cities, London, and certainly thanks to the presence of one of the show's top few endearingly crazy contestants: the infinitely quotable, consistently drunk Lisa.*** Jade may have informed us that elephants are part of the dinosaur family, but did she ever pee in a diaper on TV or have a conversation with a plant? No, she did not.
So what has Lisa been up to? She did show up on a later cycle of ANTM to give the girls some posing advice, and I have seen some decent print work that she did for some fairly reputable clothing line, but that is not the point of these segments, is it? Ladies, gentlemen, and those in between, I give you the "Ace of Spades":
Obviously, this video is totally shitty, the song itself sucks, Lisa can't really rap, and her looks have always been a love/hate situation for people. Personally, I don't think she's ugly, and I like me some itty bitty titties, so I can appreciate what Lisa's got going on, even in a leopard print bikini with pink ruffled trim. But what really made me like Lisa in Cycle 5 (even when she was being annoying) is that she was funny and that she didn't take herself too seriously. (Plus, winos have to stick together).
And therein lies the point of this video I think...The comments on youtube were written mostly by haters slamming the video, but to them I say that it's supposed to be funny. I don't think Lisa has any illusions that she's going to be the next Missy Elliot, talent-wise or career-wise. Girl's just having fun! Relax! Take a break! Eat a cookie!
Or am I wrong? Is Lisa really making a serious attempt at a music career here? Like the number of licks it takes to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop, the world may never know. Thoughts, fierce readers?
***And NO thanks to Nicole, one of the show's lamest winners EVER (second only to rigged-as-a-ship Saleisha, whose suckiness is beyond comprehensible levels, and stupid token "fatty" Whitney, also a ringer). Gorgeous, gorgeous Nik should have won, not stupid Nicole with her nails-on-a-chalkboard voice and picket fence teeth. Yeah, she was pretty and all and took good pictures, but blahhhhh. Plus I think Nik was secretly a lesbian, and I always root for the lady lovin' ladies! (Okay, except for dumb "bisexual" Michelle from Cycle 4, she of the horrible roots and midnight confessions who is married to a dude and has a baby now. Not that there's anything wrong with that--I was just always annoyed by her. Though she does bring back memories. Where have the days of flesh-eating bacteria gone?)