Thursday, June 18, 2009

"Anonymous is a better Tyra Banks than Tyra Banks."

HA! This is a weird yet funny tribute to Allison, everyone's favorite goth Bratz doll. She actually has an interesting history. Check out the fourfour blog too for some awesome new videos starring Allison and a fierce cat.

Also, I love how in the clip of Allison before the judging panel for the first time at semi-finals, Tyra manages to finally prove once and for all that her experience always holds more weight than anything any other aspiring model in the world could possibly go through, including a fixation with blood. Allison WANTS a nosebleed, but Tyra used to "get them ALL the time as a child." Of course you did, Tyra. If you check out the childhood photos on the official Tyra Banks website, you can also see that she had the worst case of chicken pox ever known to humankind. Nobody has ever been more itchy than Tyra Banks. And she ABSOLUTELY had a nose job. I've talked about this before. I can't help it.

Thursday, June 11, 2009


"(202): I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar."

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Textual healing

If you need to waste even more time on the Internets, check out my new favorite website:

It's exactly what it sounds like--people send in the ridiculous texts they've sent or received, usually while under the influence. I have to include this one, which is not the funniest one I've read by a long shot, but is totally appropriate, obviously. Way to go, Coney Island!

(201): At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."

Thursday, June 4, 2009

You WILL See Me Again: Robin, Cycle 1

Oh, my fierce ones. Your Weaveologist Spontaniouse is utterly exhausted. A dinner party at my pal Jessica's last night turned into an all-night 90's dance party. It's amazing how many songs you can remember loving in middle school and high school once you get going. I have a renewed love for the Gin Blossoms, and not just because they are a staple of the Empire Records soundtrack. Shock me, shock me, shock me with that deviant behavior!

Fortunately, the following pictures of ANTM's first Bible-thumping diva pretty much speak for themselves and for Miss Robin's meteoric career post-ANTM. Remember, "if you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything!" Funny how she refused to do the nude pictures but she still let Tyra's minions give her a bikini wax. I guess Jesus doesn't have a problem with a clean landing strip as long as nobody's actually using the runway. I wonder if she's married yet, otherwise she's got to be like a 43-year old virgin by now. Funny how in Cycle One the biggest and oldest girl managed to make it to the top four. Tyra hadn't quite yet figured out how to be the bedazzled puppet master she is today.

Let's praise the Lord for Robin and her gravity-defying hats, which certainly aren't falling for anything either. And in case you were wondering, yes, she is modeling church hats.





She and Re-Re need to get together to sing some hymns of praise for the magic of bows.