Tuesday, October 7, 2008

He did the mash

You know, I almost feel bad for Mr. Jay this cycle. Has a week gone by that he hasn't in one way or another looked like a contestant on Sci-Fi Channel gay dating show? Despite rumors that he and Ms. Tyra aren't getting along (thanks to his ever-flourishing career as the host of Canada's Next Top Model), she apparently still has him gripped fiercely in her clutches. Last week was probably the best example of his still complete surrender to the train wreck that is this show, as well as an example of probably the most nonsensical introduction to a photo challenge ever, which is saying a lot:

Someone please explain to me why Mr. Jay arriving on set dressed like a Hellmouth demon extra from Buffy the Vampire Slayer somehow translates into the natural disaster/60's mod hair & makeup photo shoot? Like, was the makeup crew just totally bored and thought: "Monster makeup! Hurrah! Then we'll put the girls into their Laugh In hair!" What about natural disaster screams "beehives and go-go boots"? (And what about natural disaster screams...traffic jam?) I also loved that Before and After split screen--it's really hard to decide which is scarier, Jay Manuel the monster or Jay Manuel in his "natural" orange-skinned and silver-haired state.

The more I think about it, the more I really think that Tyra's minions got high and watched a few episodes of Buffy before hitting on this idea:

spike & demon

(I'm seriously having an epiphany here about how Mr. Jay and Spike the vampire have the exact same hair. It really explains so much.)

Then someone must have taken another bong hit and thought, "Paulina is such a bitch with bad hair and boring comments and nobody knew who she was before she joined the show! Gee, I miss Twiggy!"


[inhaaaaale] "Who has a bigger forehead, Tyra or Helen Hunt?"


And that somehow became last week's photo shoot. Sighhhhh. I miss the days of falling fairy tale characters and girls dressed in ice cream. Though I guess it's not as bad as all of Tyra's "issue" photo shoots, like smoking and murdered models.

Tomorrow night: Elina breaks down!


beliefunwrought said...

I actually kind of loved the dead models shoot. It was creepy and weird and really good metaphor for their future careers. And what happened to doing photo shoots for actual products? I seem to remember a time when they did shoots/commercials for companies other than Wal-Mart and Covergirl. That being said, bring on the crazy. I laugh so much harder when the girls have to be different kinds of dolls or signs of the zodiac than when they do "real" photo shoots.

Spontaniouse said...

You're right! The dead model shoot was a perfect metaphor. And there did used to be more shameless product placement, like the Cycle 5shoot when they had to be famous paintings but were shilling body lotion at the same time: The Mona Lisa keeps smiling because her skin is so soft thanks to Jergens! Or whatever it was. Though I think they were just wearing the lotion in that case, not holding it in the photo and sitting on an alligator in Africa like in Cycle 4. Ahhh, the glory days.

Louski said...

It makes me kinda sad that you are correct about Mr. Jay's and Spike's hair. Because I LOVE me some Spike. I, however, do not love me some Mr. Jay. Maybe if he spoke in a British accent?

Spontaniouse said...

Don't worry, I also love me some Spike! Spike's awesomeness and Mr. Jay's ridiculousness are completely separate entities, despite a shared penchant for bleached hair. Accents do increase hotness by about 25-30% usually (if not more) but I think Mr. Jay is beyond that kind of help.