Sunday, November 9, 2008

Go and Sees

Ok, before I say anything else: McKey looked SO FUCKING HOT in that rock star white blouse and the skinny black tie. Holy hot. I love that skinny black and white early 90's rock star chic androgyny thing. Hot damn. I just watched the most recent episode and for some reason McKey just look totally gorgeous to me throughout the whole episode. Maybe that was magic chain mail she was wearing last week. Her fairy godmother gave it to her, and wearing it turns her into a beautiful elven warrior princess.

Right. Now, I must apologize to you, fierce readers, that I have been slacking on the Weavecaps lately. I've been studying like crazy for the GRE subject test in literature. Which I took yesterday and oh my god. I would rather spend three hours listening to Tyra tell me stories about when she was 17 than go through that again.

Anyway, I will try to get back to some of the finer points of last week's episode, because there were some golden moments, but I'm going to take this opportunity to talk about the go-sees episode instead!

Aside from my newfound love for McKey, Marjorie also continues to look really beautiful to me (when she is not talking). Her trim was actually an improvement and I LOVED her makeup shot. With the black and white striped dress in the black and white film and the HOT short hair and dark lips, it all looked so classic and Parisian but with a modern twist. If only she wasn't so freaking awkward and completely incapable of handling any kind of social interaction. Way to go, home schooling. Anyway, she has a lot of moments when she's posing when she just moves her face to a certain angle and she just looks really genuinely beautiful. When she talks she looks like a 14-year old boy with ADHD. I've been saying for weeks that the go-sees would be a disastrous challenge for her BUT at least she did not go the predictable way of Heather. Good thing her European heritage makes her SO controlled that she doesn't let her nerves get the better of her and end up a hot tranny mess in tears all the time. Oh wait.

Oh, ANG-Elina. Oh my god. Is it possible that I didn't notice until this moment how similar the NAMES Elina and Angelina are, let alone the faces and tattoos? That is hilarious. How much do you want to bet that Elina's real name is like Oksana or something? She totally named herself after Mrs. Pitt. Well, I knew she couldn't last much longer. Once Tyra starts really pushing the personality flaw at the judging, you know that girl is going to be out of there faster than you can mispronounce Katarzyna.

Though Elina was fading a bit for me, I still think she deserves to be thIere more than Samantha the Jowls and Annaleigh the Clown Face Cheerleader. Ughhhhhhhh. It's too much to hope that Tyra will grant my wishes and give me a Marjorie/McKey top 2. One of those blonde bitches is bound to be in the finale, and I'm betting it's Annaleigh. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if Annaleigh wins this whole thing at this point. She's the most traditionally "Cover Girl" out of the girls who are left. Marjorie could look pretty and classic in a Cover Girl ad, but there's no way she can handle the spokesmodel aspect of it. And I think McKey's weird edgy face makes her the most runway ready of the girls (because real runway models are totally weird-looking) but I don't know if that will translate into the kind of Cover Girl look that the show pushes. She's too EDGY. Which is always better than being commercial until you do a Cover Girl ad and you aren't commercial enough. Even though being "commercial" is the big modeling sin. Until you try to book a Cover Girl campaign, because a majorly successful yet still pretty affordable makeup line isn't commercial at all. This doesn't even make sense when I try to write it. O Hypocrisy, thy name is Tyra and your advice about modeling.

I'm also really looking forward to fourfour's still frames of Tyra's crazy face this episode, because there were a lot of potential moments.


Did anyone else love Annaleigh's crestfallen look when Tyra announced at panel that McKey would have been the challenge winner if she wasn't late? Hahaha--like, Annaleigh seriously did not realize that before Tyra announced it. I'm serious, she didn't. There is not much going on in that girl's head besides missing her boyfriend and wondering what's happening on Gossip Girl.

I think if there is anything truly consistent about ANTM (yes, there actually IS something consistent about ANTM besides Tyra's continuously inflating ego and dumb girls) it's that probably at every single panel judging I have ever seen, I have either thought or yelled, "TYRA, WHAT ARE YOU WEARING???" This episode was no exception. She is TOTALLY getting fat again. And I don't know what happening with the early 90's stiff shiny material dress with the doorjamb pillow straps and the huge cum stain on her boob, but it was not NOT flattering. And I'll tell ya, I am no Kate Moss, but that was one meaty thigh Tyra had peeking out at a slimming angle from under that monstrosity.

That's all for now, fierce ones. I am battling a mountain of schoolwork bigger than Miss Jay's heels. Almost time for the finale!! Who's gonna be on top??

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