Friday, February 20, 2009

"Halfway Back To Sane"

Yeah, well--I think we all know that our favorite undiscovered supermodel wasn't ever anywhere close to sane, let alone halfway. However, that phrase is supposed to apply to the wounded feelings of the shitty lead singer of the awful band that made this asstrocious music video, the only redeeming quality of which is that we get to see our own Jade from Cycle 6 run around in a naughty nurse's uniform in mental institution!

Seriously, everything about this video sucks. The song sucks, the singing sucks, the "acting" sucks, the production value sucks, but I think mostly the lyrics suck. I would say watch it without the sound on, because the music makes absolutely no difference in your enjoyment of watching Jade walk fiercely down a hallway pushing a wheelchair, but then again, maybe you want to actually know how craptastic this song is. Who let these people make a video??

The real crowning jewel for me though is that the singer totally looks like Joey Jeremiah in his Degrassi: The Next Generation days, who (as some of you might know) did once have musical aspirations on the show during the junior high years, but I honestly think that the pre-teen gentlemen of The Zit Remedy could have come up with better lyrics than "my hands are still raw from holding on to lost love" and "I already know the name of pain".

GROAAAAAAAN. You know that that dude thinks those words are SO DEEP. And how fucking STUPID is the band name "Telling On Trixie"? Ughhhh....Hoobastank still holds the title of Worst Band Name Ever, but these guys are giving them a run for the money.

Anyway, check out our beautiful biracial butterfly:

And in case you were wondering, fierce readers, I'm not including this video in Jade's You WILL See Me Again segment because I'm sitting on some DELICIOUS pictures of her for that.

Also, this might be old news to some of you, but Jade is actually also in the Jay-Z "Change Clothes" video, so good for her! How hilarious that she would actually be involved with a project that includes Tyra's arch-nemesis, Naomi Campbell. Sorry, Tyra--it doesn't matter how many phones Ms. Campbell throws at her assistant or how many times you mention that she fell on her ass on the runway one time, if you ask someone who THE black supermodel of the 1990's was, they're gonna say Naomi. (Psssst--she's still actually modeling, too, unlike a certain talk show host who shall remain nameless).

Jay-Z totally mentions weaves in this song! Awesome. Also, is that Kelly Ripa in the audience? Weird. And that model with the shaved head is HOT. And, oh god oh god oh god--that is SO model/actress Omahyra Mota on the runway around the 3:42 and the 3:52 mark, and I think she is basically the hottest thing that has ever lived. Okay, Spontaniouse. Calm yourself. Okay, I am calm. Jade appears right after her, starting around the 3:56 mark. Go Jade! You might not be America's Next Top Model or America's Next Top Best Friend, but you made it into a video with Hova. Nice work. Remind me again which part of the dinosaur family elephants belong to?

Sorry, the embedding is disabled for this video, but here's the link:

And for those of you not familiar with Degrassi, I give you Joey Jeremiah:



beliefunwrought said...

Some times I swear you are my brain twin. Degrassi and ANTM in the same post? I could not ask for more awesomeness. I am not worthy!

Spontaniouse said...

Oh no--the fact that you are on board the Degrassi train makes you MORE than worthy!!