Predictions!

First, I just watched the preview for next week on the ANTM website, which I missed last week. Marjorie gets totally plastered!! I can't wait!!!

Now, let's talk a bit more about McKey, who I am from now on dubbing Silent Thunder. My very astute friend Patria is calling her for the winner, and the hilarious and smart Rich from fourfour also thinks that she's going to pull it off. I hope they're right! But I do not doubt Tyra Banks's capacity to disappoint me.

Now, I don't think that I was mesmerized by McKey's beauty when I watched the last episode just because I was snoop doggin' it a bit on Sunday afternoon. I've been kind of into her since the beginning, but twitchy little Marjorie with her lesbian hair has been distracting me. (Loved the trim. Loved it!) However, she has seemed kind of forgettable...I mean, I literally forgot about her in one of my posts a few weeks ago. Yet, Tyra has never called her out on that at all, despite the fact that she hasn't gotten a ton of screen time. That means either that they've been editing McKey to keep her in the background, or Tyra has once again been a complete hypocrite about how much "personality" America's. Next. Top. Model. is supposed to have.

As much as I love Marjorie's photos, there's no way that she's going to make it through the Cover Girl commercial without absolutely losing her shit. To me, that leaves McKey as the logical winner, based on photos and performance. (Not forgetting that we never see the girls walk in more than like, two episodes, because most of them suck at it.) Anyway, please note that I said LOGICAL winner. We all know that logic usually has NOTHING to do with who Tyra chooses as the winner. SALEISHA. WHITNEY.

Now, I think McKey could still have a chance. She's really different from anyone who's won in a while. The edgy girl with short hair hasn't won...well, EVER really, even though that's who I always root for. (A.J., Mollie Sue, Kim...sighhhhh). Really, the edgy short hair thing has never won: Yoanna looked gorgeous with short hair, but she was just that: gorgeous, classic--not edgy. I wouldn't put Eva in the edgy category necessarily either. McKey's body is also fierce, but not too emaciated, and with the Linda Evangelista hair, she totally looks like a classic early 90's model, which is a look that is starting to make a little comeback these days, I think. Plus now that Sheena is gone, all my predictions about the first Asian ANTM winner are out the window.

Here's what I FEAR will happen though: That poor McKey will go the way of Cycle 9's Jenna. As in, she will technically be the most beautiful, with the best pictures by far, but she will be kicked off because she is not part of Tyra's master plan to pit Shitleisha against the weakass Chantal, supposedly justifying Shitleisha's win. Which translates into: Tyra has already decided that Annaleigh Clown Face should be the winner, which means that Marjorie will get kicked off next week for being too tetchy, which leaves a final 3 of McKey, Annaleigh Clown Face and Jowls Samantha. McKey could get kicked off for supposedly not looking "Cover Girl" enough (when in reality she is just the stiffest competition) which leaves the lame-o blondes to battle it out, and Annaleigh will win and completely not deserve it. I'm worried about Clown Face. The judges have been giving her disproportionate amounts of praise, and they loved her first Cover Girl commercial. Grrrrrrr.

And we will also be forced to watch a retrospective of Anneleigh and Samantha's "portfolios" which will probably consist of the TWO pictures from last week that were sort of good. Just like Shitleisha and Chantal. Seriously, remember? Back in the day it sort of used to be a finale between two girls who had strong photos, and we would see a side-by-side comparison of their photos from almost every week. We saw two photos of those bitches. Same with Whitney. Lame!!

Also, I've been trying to think of the best way to describe Annaleigh's weird exaggerated clown face features, and for some reason I keep thinking that she looks like Biff Tannen mated with a Bratz Doll.



PLUS



EQUALS



Doesn't her head look too small for her body? Booooo. She better not win. Sighhhh. None of her photos are that impressive, either, but I can just HEAR Tyra creaming her pants all over Annaleigh's portfolio. We'll get to that later.

HOWEVER, I perused McKey's entire portfolio, and you know what, fierce readers? It's actually kind of awesome. Pretty. Fierce. Indeed. In fact, I'd go so far as to say there isn't really a bad one in the bunch, and there are a few that are actually really great. And I thought she was cool-looking when she had long red hair, and I dig her with the short black hair too. She could be a totally versatile model.

Also, isn't it weird to rememember that her real name is Brittany? Doesn't that seem completely unsuitable for her? Much like the British accent she somehow picked up in two days in Amsterdam? However, all Madonna-ish accent pretensions can be forgiven when we examine her pictures, which I will do in the next post since this one is already too long!